When life gets hard, motivation is often the first thing to go.
Tasks that once felt manageable suddenly feel overwhelming. Decisions stall. Energy dips. Even things you want to do can feel oddly out of reach.
And if you’re anything like most people, the story you tell yourself sounds something like this:
I should be coping better than this.
But here’s the reframe that changes everything:
Loss of motivation during difficult periods isn’t a character flaw — it’s a stress response.
As I explored in When life knocks you off balance, periods of upheaval often leave us feeling unsteady long before we notice changes in motivation. Understanding what’s happening beneath the surface can help explain why forward momentum suddenly feels so difficult.
Why motivation disappearing isn’t a moral failure
We tend to treat motivation as a personal virtue. If you have it, you’re disciplined, focused, and capable. If you don’t, you must be lazy, uncommitted, or failing somehow.
That framing is deeply misleading.
Motivation isn’t something you are. It’s something that emerges when certain conditions are in place — enough energy, emotional safety, clarity, and a sense of internal steadiness.
When those conditions are disrupted, motivation doesn’t vanish because you’ve done something wrong. It vanishes because your system is prioritising survival over progress.
Stress changes how your system works
During prolonged stress or emotional upheaval, your body and brain shift gears. Attention narrows. Energy is conserved. The future feels less relevant than simply getting through today.
This is why “just push through” advice so often falls flat. When your system is overloaded, pushing harder doesn’t create motivation — it creates resistance, guilt, or shutdown.
What looks like procrastination from the outside is often self-protection on the inside.
Chronic stress affects attention, energy, and motivation — not because something is wrong with you, but because your system is under strain. Australian mental health organisation Beyond Blue explains how stress affects mental wellbeing and why rest and support matter during difficult periods.
Why trying harder often backfires
In these seasons, slowing down isn’t avoidance — it’s adjustment. Reducing pressure and easing expectations can create the conditions motivation needs to return. I explore this more in The joy of slow living in a fast world, where I unpack why gentler pacing often leads to greater resilience.
Many people respond to low motivation by tightening the screws:
- stricter routines
- bigger goals
- harsher self-talk
But pressure rarely produces sustainable momentum when you’re already depleted. More often, it deepens the sense that you’re failing at something everyone else seems to manage.
The irony is this: motivation usually returns after you stop demanding it.
Motivation follows stability, not the other way around
This is where many of us get the order wrong.
We wait for motivation so we can feel stable, confident, and capable again. But for most people, it works in reverse. Stability comes first. Motivation follows.
Stability might look like:
- fewer expectations, not more
- predictable rhythms to your day
- allowing rest without justification
- choosing what’s supportive over what’s impressive
These aren’t signs of giving up. They’re signs of recalibration.
Stability doesn’t have to be complicated. Simple grounding practices — including time in nature — can help regulate stress and restore a sense of internal steadiness. I wrote more about this in Nature, the original antidepressant.
A gentler question to ask yourself
Instead of asking, Why can’t I motivate myself?
Try asking, What would help me feel steadier right now?
That shift alone can soften the internal pressure enough for energy to begin returning — slowly, naturally, without force.
This is a season, not a verdict
Periods of low motivation are often temporary responses to real circumstances. They’re signals, not sentences.
You’re not broken. You’re responding.
And when you meet that response with understanding rather than judgement, something subtle but important happens: your system starts to feel safer. And when safety increases, motivation tends to find its way back — quietly, in its own time.
In the next post, we’ll explore why trying to “get back to normal” can keep you stuck — and what helps instead when life has changed you in ways you didn’t plan for.
Part 2 of the Finding Your Feet Again series
